Asked about how she deals with ageing, Mariah Carey recently said: "I don't allow it - it just doesn't happen. I don't know time. I don't know numbers. I do not acknowledge time.

Driving home at 6.30 this morning from an overnight stay at a sleep clinic, I thought, ‘That is ridiculous,’ and then I paused. 

I am turning 60 in September and certain things remind me I am ‘of a certain age’.  A knee replacement two years ago, lack of sleep, and the algorithms on Instagram feeding more content on ‘ageing skin and botox’. 

My dad, who retired at 55 after a massive career ending as CEO of the Asia Pacific region of a seat belt manufacturer, said to me last week, ‘Don’t you think it’s time to retire?’  And I looked at him askance! At 88, he has probably been retired longer than he worked, although he does tell me he still travelled and consulted until 64 on doing business in Australia.

But here is the crux of the matter: I have no idea what I would do, and working keeps me engaged and young. A check on Facebook sees my friends with grown-up children, becoming grandparents, and currently road tripping around Australia as ‘grey nomads’ - a thought that fills me with horror. That is something you do when you are old, and I am not there yet! And I don't do caravans and camping!

But maybe here is the difference.  I am a mother of a 17-year-old boy who loves singing and dancing to The Weekend. I love what I do now and believe I still have a lot to offer.  And my hair is yet to go grey (yep, it’s natural folks!) 

The Myth of “Act Your Age”

So, at sixty, I am now being told to ‘act my age,’ but I have never been one to follow convention or rules. 

Why do we assign behaviours, lifestyles or even ambitions to specific ages? 

When I was in my 30s, I was told the clock was ticking. I needed a husband so I could have a child, even though I never really wanted to be a mother or a wife.  But it happened accidentally at 42 - the perfect age to have a surprise child. And I am pretty good at it. Less so a wife, but hey, menopause changes how many fucks you give about being nice.

In my 50s, I was told I was too experienced and couldn’t find work.  Turns out, in all those young whipper snappers' minds at agencies when they interviewed me, probably considered me old. 

A new report by AHRI and the Human Rights Commission says that one quarter of employers now classify over 50s as older, with new data revealing ageism is growing in Australia.

I started my own business at 50. My husband, recently retired from full-time work at 75, has just started his new career as a photographer, rediscovering his creativity.  (https://www.redgallery.com.au/exhibitions/robert-follis-2025)

Now at 60, I am being told to retire.  Well bollocks to that! 

Time as a Construct — and a Weapon

Mariah says, 'I don’t acknowledge time.' What would life look like if we didn’t?

Age is used to disqualify people.  You are “too young to know,” or “too old to change.” 

One quarter of HR professionals now consider workers aged 51 to 55 as “older.” Just two years ago, that number was only 10%. It’s a sharp shift — and it raises fundamental questions. In an economy crying out for skills and experience, why are we sidelining the very people who’ve spent decades building both?

I am currently talking with a group of women who are struggling to find full-time employment. We are considering banding together to create a consultancy of people over 45 with the skills and experience to drive real change and outcomes in HR.  Clever women who have been there and done that, and are consulting where they can. 

A recent conversation with someone senior enlightened it even more when the HRD asked her, ‘Why do I pay you so much when I can get a younger person for less?’   

Another woman was approached about a GM role in HR, paying $150K. The role wanted someone to lead a change transformation, completely reimagining the organisation and creating a new culture.  She sat with the recruiter and said, 'For that money, you are looking at someone with less experience. Divide the role, and this is what a less experienced person can do. I will come in and consult for 3-6 months, and then complete the rest, and that would be very cost-effective.' They didn't go for it. And probably we will now see a less experienced person with a grand title fail at what was expected. 

So if age is a weapon, use it! Use your experience, you knowledge and your hard won success to show the world who you are!

If you are an employer, you are recruiting a person who has relevant experience. Made the mistakes, learned and know how to deliver quickly and effectively - that can only be to your benefit.  We have done it over and over again, and each time, we have tried something new and learned from it.  We do it faster, with fewer errors and with a mentality of knowing and making it work. And we are very pleased to coach and mentor those less experienced to leave a legacy and a future.

The adage, you get what you pay for, springs to mind.  And in society right now, experience is not worth much. 

Ageing as Evolution, Not Decline

So let’s move away from age equalling decay and decline and towards a place where age equals layers, depth, complexity and something that society and business need. 

Use the wisdom, confidence, and clarity that often come with age. Forget the timeline of doing things at a particular time in your life and reclaim your rhythm and pacing.

What if you're not late?

What if you are reinventing and becoming more yourself every day?

Let’s put aside the notion that women are to be “timeless” or “age gracefully”, which is often code for “don’t age at all.”  The best thing to come out of COVID was the number of women who no longer give a fuck about their grey hair and demand we accept them as they are.

It’s time to think about who you want to be becoming, instead of what do you think you’re “past”?

Jackie Joyner-Kersee said, “Age is no barrier. It’s a limitation you put on your mind,” and right now, it’s a barrier that employers are putting on us.